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limerence is a common response to growing up in an environment where love is given, and it’s also taken away. As children, we can’t understand that dad is being harsh, critical, or checked out because he’s overworked and stressed. We personalize it. And believe we’ve caused his behavior. If this happens often enough and long enough our nervous system powerfully adapts. We start to try everything we can to stay connected. We’ll try to be perfect, try to appease, take up hobbies and interests that